Fire

When I was small, I always wanted to play with fire. I like it when its red or orange. I like it best when its blue. Then one day, I accidentally slipped over my palm a lit matchstick. I got hurt, and so I never played with fire again. And never will I...

It was just recently that I opened up myself to the "truth". I talked to people and I can grasp the respect I need whenever I turn my self to them. For me that's enough for a person like; it's contentment. But still, I live upon my beliefs that I shall never indulge myself to the lies of a homosexual relationship, nor of a homosexual deed. I still am afraid based on what I hear and what I see with other friends in the community. And so, I will be happy with who I am and what will I become. If the day would start to come that I get wrecked upon what I firmly believe, It'd surely be the worst day of my life.

Since it was 2nd year that I finally lusted in mind with same sex, I have proven my self that I was truly am like one. I still remember the time I had my first ever jack-off I had plenty out from it. At first, I lusted over a nude picture of a woman but deep in mind I knew then I wanted something different. And so I saw on TV a guy and girl kissing, I knew then it was not the girl I was looking for; I lurked on the guy. Since then, my boring nerdy life became exciting with daily jack-offs.

I have always contented myself with it until now. I know; it's kind of weird for me but I do not want to explore. I don't intend to. It's because of my freaking dumb ideals that aren't really ideal. But I'm a rebel...and will always be.